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She allowed me to tell my story on her platform. Diamond has been an outspoken and dedicated trans woman activist for as long as I can remember. Because I'm living my truth and speak out as a trans amorous man, I know men who are married to trans women, have been in long-term-relationships with trans women, and those who are coming to terms with it.Īlmost nine years ago, I was featured on my friend Diamond Stylz's Youtube page. I’m in a unique position due to my activism. Most men who like trans women are isolated from each other. My dad is still best friends with a trans woman I dated for almost 10 years. That I would lose my "man card." I walked around with that fear for almost 15 years. When I stopped living in secret, I was afraid that my friends would abandon me. While I once kept this part of my life a secret, today it's public knowledge. I'm an outspoken advocate for trans women and the men who love them. I’ve seen how my actions have impacted men in my community, and it has compelled me into action. A number of men in my circle had also dated trans women, but no one talked about it until I stepped up.
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But I've seen everyone from actors, professional athletes, rappers, cops, pastors and regular guys secretly dating trans women. I've been dating trans women exclusively for 20 years now. We were sexually open, and after a night spent with her and a trans woman we met, I knew I could no longer live two lives. Everything changed when I started dating a cis woman who, like me, was attracted to trans women. I've been walking in my truth for 20 years now. I never stopped dating trans women when we were together.
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Our first marriage ended quickly, after 18 months. The person who I’d always been to my friends, family, and colleagues, and then the man who secretly slept with trans women. So instead of truly addressing it, I just lived two separate lives to help me cope. Thrusting myself into an environment that was rich in LGBT life forced me to confront it every day. A year later, at 20, I moved to the Palmer Park area in Detroit, not knowing it was a mecca for the LGBT community. Another worked in the mall at a makeup counter. One caught the bus everyday in front of my job. Now that I knew trans women existed, I started noticing them in the world around me. How was that possible, since I’m not gay? Clearly, I had no understanding of gender identity back then, and neither did society. I couldn't understand why, as a straight man, I was attracted to her, if she had been assigned male when she was born. But it took a long time for me to change.įear and confusion were the two most dominant feelings. Nearly 40 years later, she is still my friend. After the girl told me she was trans, I immediately had sex with several cis women to solidify my manhood. In response, I tried to take corrective action, to reassure myself of my heterosexuality and masculinity. I was confused, scared and my fragile masculinity was threatened. I couldn't believe she started life assigned male at birth. We were together for six weeks before she told me that she was trans. I didn't know trans women existed, and didn’t understand what it meant.
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My love for trans women began 37 years ago, in the summer of 1983, when I was just 19 and met a trans girl around my age. Living a DL lifestyle was lonely, and harmful to myself, and to the women I wanted so desperately to connect with. I used to live a life of discretion and secrecy on the down low. I've found a home at that organization, and they have supported me in my mission to help men like myself, who are attracted to trans women, to step up and walk in their truth. I volunteer regularly at LGBT Detroit, the largest Black run LGBT organization in North America. Our members include both cis and trans men who date trans women. My Facebook group, the Trans Supported Brotherhood, has been around for almost four years and was formed to help support trans amorous men to have a sense of community. I like women in general, but a trans woman is my ideal partner. I’m an active, middle-aged, family-oriented, African-Amerian man from Detroit-and I’m also a leading advocate for men who are attracted to trans women. My oldest son is raising my granddaughter without her mother. I like to think I’m damn good at it now, at 55. I love working out and staying ahead of the game. I've been a white-collar professional for most of my adult life, and am currently employed in financial services.